Poisonous

I saw you from a distance with that stranger from your past,
They say time heals old wounds but I never recovered,
               I probably never will,            

This whirlwind of emotions that covets my soul is a never ending episode of highs and lows,
And just when I feel strong again you come back,
This is insanity,
I let you back in with little resistance,
This is insane,
You say sweet things to make me care again,
I am crazy,
Much as I deny, deny, deny, I reluctantly accept that I am still in love,
What to do?
I see the bottle of booze, the smoke, the black, the white,
The good and the bad are both one and the same,
What to do?
The pills I take are supposed to provide stability,
They help when there is no poison,
And in your eyes I see love,
And in my eyes I have resignation,
This will never end,
I can't stop that which I have no control,
How I wish we had never met,
                    and still,

When we find time to kick it there is no measure of Time,
I am alive with passion, love and driven with determination,
Motivated by a hypothetical future,
If I could only convince her that I am the one,
But no amount of courage could see me through the end,
Persistence is futile,
I lie in the fetal position under trees while the rain is my comfort,
Soon I will sleep,
Soon it will be over,
Soon I will have peace over love.